Upper Middle’s “Self-Assessment” survey found that self-talk related to financial and personal circumstances was determined more by expectations and adult relationships than by material circumstances. The data suggests that we work irrational hard and make more professional sacrifices than make strategic sense. And that, on some level, we know it….
Despite the fact the largest group of respondents being professionals with $1M–$2.5M in net worth, responses reflected deep ambivalence about quality of life.
Playing Chicken, Professionally
Self-reported professional success (40.89%) showed only a slight positive correlation to self-reported personal success (59.42%), but professionally successful respondents overwhelming (91%) stated that personal sacrifices had been “Absolutely” or “Probably” worth it. Among those who consider themselves “Kinda Successful,” sentiment about sacrifices being worth it was lower (80%), but still disproportionately positive.
Those numbers suggest that we work hard even when we know working hard may not lead to happiness – or could create unhappiness. This appears to be particularly true in fields staffed by professionals from Upper Middle backgrounds who constitute the group least likely (47%) to surpass their parents financially. A majority of self-reported successes working in tech, finance, and operations reported less than success personal lives.
Though personal success was only slightly correlated to professional success, it was strongly correlated to having more money than one’s parents at the same age.
The Paradox of Sacrifice
Most people (67%) from wealthy backgrounds feel they have a lower quality of life than their parents at the same age even though only half report having less money. Those born rich are also less likely than any other group to self-report personal success (43.5%) and satisfaction in their work (42.9%). That poor little rich kid malaise presents a sharp contrast to attitudes among those born (just down the street, presumably) into the Upper Middle.
Those born into the Upper Middle report the second-highest professional success rate (45.8%) behind only those from poor backgrounds (63.5%) and the highest rates of professional success (57.1%) and high job enjoyment (66.7%). But there’s a wrinkle: Of those born into the Upper Middle and making $200K–$499K – lots of doctors and lawyers – a paltry 36% report enjoying their work “Most of the Time.”[3]
Many of these people are making profound personal sacrifices so that their children can be born Upper Upper Middle or rich-ish even though there’s little reason to believe rich kids lead more fulfilling lives and, in fact, those born into the middle class were most likely to self-report successful personal lives.
You Can’t Buy Love, But Should Try
Whether or not people view themselves as successful has a lot to do with their success relative to those around them – no shit, right? – but it also has to do with how those closest to them treat them. Self-reported personal success was strongly correlated with describing happy or at least stable marriages. More surprisingly, self-reported professional success was correlated to spousal satisfaction. We’re nice to ourselves when our partners are nice to us. Makes sense.
Living Costs Distort Self-Image
New Yorkers, who outnumbered all other respondents, were – along with respondents from Massachusetts, Maryland, and South Carolina – were among those least likely (36.4%) to report having a higher quality of life than their parents at the same age.[4] Though it’s true that people living in those states are more likely to have been born Upper Middle or Rich, a correlation between declining quality of life and state cost of living stats suggests respondents from Florida, who self-report a higher quality of life than their parents (72.2%), disproportionately feel professionally successful.
